drowningheta:

gallifreyburning:

giraffepoliceforce:

I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.

They were expecting military resistance. They weren’t counting on bears.

image

Canada’s time to shine has come

operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

somethingjustfunny:

My 9th grade brother told his teacher he had to “piss” and she said he had to use “urinate” in a sentence first. http://ift.tt/1melNhY

somethingjustfunny:

My 9th grade brother told his teacher he had to “piss” and she said he had to use “urinate” in a sentence first. http://ift.tt/1melNhY

Pokeball - Pokemon